I was born in 1991 in Boston, Massachusetts. My father was an attorney and my mother, a nurse. I had one sibling, two and a half years younger. In many ways, I guess you could say I was born into the arms of my enemy. My parents were very unhappy people. They wanted their kids to make them happy. The irony is that that was the mission I was born with; making others happy. Lots of stuff happened when I was young that caused me to lose touch with my soul. I lost my mind, you could say. It wouldn't be until the age of 30 that I finally found what I was looking for.
I ate a ton of sweets as a child and in my 20s. I was looking for something to cure the pain. But the cure was inside.
I got very into video games as a kid. I liked role-playing games in particular. I wanted to be someone else. I didn't know it at the time but it's because I already was.
I got really into weightlifting starting at the age of 19. This was a big step for me. I turned my body into a very impressive form, but there was still a problem. It brought me closer to the real issue.
I was bullied a lot as a kid. These "foreign wars" confused me about who the real enemy was.
I was a very awkward and quiet person. There was a conflict going on in my mind all the time. The real me was always telling me to stop operating the way I was.
I didn't drink that often, but when I did, I got extremely drunk. I always felt like I was more "myself" when I drank alcohol.
After I stopped following my own sense of right and wrong, my soul became the abuser.
I couldn't figure out which role to pick in society. I never knew what I wanted to major in in college and even after receiving my PhD in biology, I was uncertain of my career ambitions.
I was obsessed with my hair as a teenager. I always felt like something was wrong and I had to fix it. This led to obsessive, compulsive behavior.
College & Grad School
In 2009, I attended Westfield State College about an hour and half from where I grew up. Unlike high school, I got really good grades in college and, after one year, I transferred to the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I didn't know what I wanted to study. Eventually, I settled on Wildlife Conservation because I had always had an appreciation for nature, though I did not know at the time what was underlying my fascination. After UMass, I decided to go to grad school because I still didn't know what I wanted to do in life, so furthering my education seemed like a good fit. I enrolled in a PhD program in the biology department at the University of Texas at Arlington.
The Breakup
While in grad school, I had my first serious girlfriend. It was a very abusive relationship only, this time, I was the abuser. I manipulated her. I broke up with her many times and then asked to get back together. I wanted her to make me happy. I was very depressed. A lot of suffering took place. I put her through hell, literally. In December 2019, she finally got away. She told me that she started seeing another guy. I was completely devastated. I tried for a long time to get her to come back. I harassed her for months. I was in the most pain I had ever been in before. This defeat caused me to finally start looking inward. I started to see that there was something wrong with me. I still didn't know what it was but the next thing I realized is that my parents treated me very similar to the way I treated my ex. In February 2021, I told them that I no longer wanted to communicate.
30-year old runaway
In May 2021, I moved to LA. I had planned to start up a company called Carbon Thief. The idea was for an online shopping platform that would enable people to purchase products and services that help store carbon as a way of fighting climate change. I entered the start-up into the XPrize Carbon Removal contest facilitated by the Musk Foundation. I didn't know anyone in California. One day, I believe in October 2021, I was kidnapped while doing my normal routine of working for DoorDash. A thing was attached to my brain and within probably about 24 hours, I woke up in my bed not knowing what happened. It would take me a whole additional year, an enormous amount of pain, and a fiasco involving the FBI to finally learn that something was inside of me.
